General Sadness

Let's address an issue and try desperately find a way to make it all seem just dandy.

Binge eating, over-eating, compulsive behavior, if you will. I must warn you though, I will be throwing my name around because I just found out this blog cannot be found right off the bat. I have an odd name, Yolimary, I mean if you can't think to put Yoli and Mary together, I'm basically invisible, by mistake, at that.

Yeah, I care now, so what? I want to be seen, too!

Well, this lovely midnight, I was stuck in a never ending loop with my mom about why I'm unsatisfied in life, well, shit happens, I'm never usually happy, and I mentioned that the only think that really brings me a sense of satisfaction is when I eat, and I guess I've decided that I would use eating as a way of coping with everyone's shit. But I realized that though it's super subtle, it's ever present, like a person could be talking to me and I'd very calm eating whatever I just bought, but the other person can't prove that I haven't already had three of the thing I was just eating. Point being, yes, I overeat when I find myself in an unavoidable situation. If eating gave life cancer, I'd never see remission.

Ahh, here we go again. I should say this, though: eating a lot to make yourself feel good well, it feels like it's working, but it's really not, it's just causing another set of problems, like a dependency for eating whenever something stresses you out, diabetes heart complications if you begin to gain a lot of weight, general badness to your health. It's a scary thing because unlike drugs and certain alcohol, it's not difficult to just walk into a 7-eleven and buy them out if your having a really shitty day. I've realized this, and to be honest the easiness of coming across food is the only thing that keeps me away from that prescription drug overdose that's just waiting calmly for me across the street.

I don't think I can lie about this, suicide is unfortunately across the street from there, Things aren't excellent, for the most part things are never excellent, it hasn't been for years. But let's not cross that bridge until we get there. We're still talking about the dangerously therapeutic qualities of food.

Food, food, food... There are seemingly different reasons why people do this binge eating, maybe they feel pent up, maybe they feel under a lot of stress, maybe some asshole called a person fat and they think that eating would make it better. I can't repeat this any more than I have, it feels like it's working, but that's a moment of happiness you'll only feel for that hour, then you have to hope that nothing else happens until you go to bed. This is why I'll take a Unisom and call it a night before any shit hits any fans.